No Matter What You’re Going Through, There’s a Light at the Tunnel and It may seem hard to get to it.
But You Can Do It !
And Just Keep Working Towards It and You’ll find the Positive Side of
Things !
Let’s Spread The Lights and Smiles Across This Festive Season !!!
by: Snehal Khandekar
St.Xavier’s college
How many times have we ever tried to see a woman as a separate identity ? Either she is a mother, sister or daughter who cares for us or she is just an object. Have we ever tried to read her heart or honour her mind ?
Note: This is a work of fiction
Dear Daughter,
Writhing in agony and holding back flames that threaten to barge in through my eyes any time, I write this letter to you, sincerely hoping that you will not consign yourself to the same fate as mine. I will be no more after I usher you into this world and so this letter will have to be your mother’s voice once you’re grown up enough to understand, and obey. I never tried to understand; never tried to obey, and this is what life has come to. Being my daughter, I’m almost sure that you will not listen to me and would rather prefer taking the path of your own calling. Yet being also almost sure that the path of my daughter would be the same as mine, I will make this valiant attempt to show you that mine was a lost cause.
Equality is a myth. There’s nothing called equality. All those talks of male-female equality sounded very good on paper and in the feminist discussion panels I was an audience of, but how unrealistic they were, I came to realize when I was raped. I came to realize that when I was raped by the one who is now your father now.
It is cruel on my part to let you in on this part of the story that I’m sure everyone will hide from you, but your father is the least cruel of all whom your mother had to negotiate. The police officers who suggested the marriage, my own parents who sanctioned it without even asking me and the society which pushed me into it through ways explicit and implicit, are but subtle notes of the cruelty humanity has for half of its milieu.
I’m sure I’ll be giving birth to a daughter and I’m sure it’s my daughter who is reading it, and if I have to say just one line to you, dear daughter, it will be this- for a woman, liberty to be a human being is an illusion, and your mother is finally disillusioned. I spent all my life chasing an impossible dream and I beg you to never embark on that path. This realization of the futility of my endeavours didn’t come when I was penetrated against my will by the man who has now told the doctor that he wants the child and not me, rather, when I was made to marry the man I didn’t do the honour of considering a human being.
You will be safe, I’m sure, in the hands of that beast, only if you don’t refuse to dance to the tunes of the society, the way society expects you to. I beg of you to give up before you even start thinking of equality. Society will take good care of you. Only, don’t ask for the right to be a human being. Stay content being a woman. Find the right man and the right balance, and stay happy. That ‘Y’ chromosome nature didn’t endow you with will make sure you’re never equal to those of the ‘XY’ chromosome species. This liberty that they flaunt is not for us women, or else a country free for more than half a century yet not allowing freedom to its women to lead normal lives would have been a farce. Only, it is so. But we must live with this banished parade of liberty. All of us have to. You have to.
Don’t strangle yourself to despair by trying to change anything. The more things change, the more they remain the same.
Your dead mother
Watching-over-you
Dear mother,
I know not whether I was right in choosing to go through your letter when clearly it wasn’t meant for me. And it’s not the nurse’s fault to have entrusted it into the wrong hands. The poor lady only wanted to have completed her job before dying. I’m as old now as your daughter would have been today and you were correct in your instincts telling you that your message would not be heeded.
I’m going to fight for equality, till my last breath, and not the least because I’m a man. Mother, I’m not ashamed of being a man; I have never been, and I want to be able to say this in my dying moments. I’m proud of you mother, for not understanding and not obeying till the last few moments of your life and disappointed with you I am for what you call your disillusionment. I’ll excuse you though, for those weak moments you had. And you’re going to have to excuse me, rather try and be proud of me, for taking the same path as yours. Equality is not a myth. It might have been so till now but I’m sure to see it come alive, if not in this birth, then at least in some birth eons down the cosmic lane, before which my soul will refuse to be at peace. Male-female equality is not an impossible dream.
Trust your son, mother, when he says he will chase it all his life, and in the world beyond, and this world you left a better place to live in. I’ll be the man to show the earth that liberty to be a human being first, is as much a woman’s as a man’s. And your endeavors, mother, were not futile. Every pore of my body oozes with the enthusiasm of being the ‘right man’ you wanted your unborn daughter to find, and to ensure that at least a few women in this country don’t have to go looking for the ‘right balance.’ I’ll be the husband and the father who will not have to be ashamed of being a man, for having to subjugate women to reassure himself of his manhood. I’m not that man you asked your unborn daughter to dance to the tunes of; neither am I a part of that society. The son of a beast I am, I admit, as much as I’m your son, but that blood only makes me a fanatic for creating the kind of world where beasts are no longer able to roam about in human cloaks.
Your Son
Watching-over-the-world-you-left
Source: Youthkiaawaz
A 45-year-old man from Bihar allegedly hacked his 19-year-old married daughter with a fodder cutter after she refused to have sex with him, a report said on Friday.
The incident took place around 4 am on Thursday in Mustafaganj village in Bihar’s Muzaffarpur district.
Farm worker Raktu Prasad was arrested after his son-in-law lodged a police complaint.
The report cited Meenapur police station SHO Madan Kumar Singh as saying that Raktu has confessed to the crime. He also confessed to the killing of his wife two years ago.
Raktu’s daughter was married to Ranjit Kumar, who is a shopkeeper from neighbouring Bishunpur village four months ago. They had come to Mustafaganj two days back.
On Wednesday night, Raktu had come home late in an inebriated condition and insisted on sleeping in the same room in which the couple were sleeping.
After a verbal wrangle ensued over the issue, Raktu lifted the ‘dabia’ and allegedly threatened to kill Ranjit if he did not leave his house instantly.
When he left, Raktu entered his daughter’s room and tried to force himself on her.
Furious over her resistance and cries for help, he allegedly hit her several times with the ‘dabia’.
The deceased was the eldest among five siblings. The four minor children were sleeping in another room when the incident took place.
Source: India Today
A seven-year-old girl sustained serious facial injuries when her maternal uncle tried to bite her tongue off after molesting her.
The accused named Sindhi, who was in an inebriated state, tried to bite her tongue off to prevent her from revealing his name after molesting her.
Sindhi was staying in the house of his brother-in-law, a shoe-factory worker. The girl suffered serious injuries on her tongue and cheek.
According to Agra Deputy Inspector General of Police Laxmi Singh, the girl was sexually assaulted by her maternal uncle.
Sindhi came late at night and under the effect of alcohol, took the girl to his room in the Nai Ki Mandi police station area and tried to assault her.
The girl struggled and in the process sustained serious injuries to her mouth. She has now been treated by the doctors and is recovering.
The accused has been sent to jail.
The DIG said that it is imperative now that parents do not trust even their closest relatives when it came to the safety of their children, especially young girls, as there were a lot of cases coming up where close relatives turned out to be child molesters.
Health care providers are in a unique position to assist in the prevention of child maltreatment. These professionals have routine access to children and families by providing regular appointments, immunizations, and interventions to common illnesses. Activities that promote the health of children and their parents and contribute to the prevention of child maltreatment include:
Primary care providers emphasize the prevention of disease and the promotion of health and well-being. With this foundation, they have a natural role in the prevention of child abuse and neglect.
Many community organizations offer a wide range of services for children and families. Boys and Girls Clubs, scouting troops, and local YMCA/YWCAs provide social and recreational opportunities for children and families. Community centers, food banks, emergency assistance programs, and shelters offer various family support services to increase family resources and decrease stress. Exchange Clubs, fraternal organizations, advocacy groups, and ethnic, cultural, and religious organizations also support child maltreatment prevention activities.
Specific examples of prevention activities found within community-based organizations include:
Many grassroots efforts develop dynamic partnerships of professionals, businesses, faith-based organizations, concerned citizens, and other groups interested in creating prevention efforts that address the needs of their community.
Increasingly, social service agencies and professionals are expanding their focus to include programs that prevent family problems from escalating to abuse or neglect. Effective social service initiatives for strengthening families and preventing child maltreatment include:
As State and local social service agencies examine new ways of “doing business,” many are pooling resources to provide more prevention services.
With increased public and professional attention on the serious social problems affecting children and adolescents, schools have become the focus for many new prevention efforts including:
Religious institutions are among the most influential organizations in many communities. Churches, temples, synagogues, mosques, and other faith-based groups play an important role in reaching out to and helping families at risk. Spiritual leaders can use their religious messages as a positive force in preventing child abuse and neglect and advocating non abusive parenting practices. Faith communities frequently foster and offer important social supports to families. Empirical studies suggest a significant relationship between an individual’s participation in faith practices and physical and mental well-being. Improved social supports and enhanced well-being can help strengthen families and act as protective factors. Faith communities can participate in prevention efforts through activities such as:
As the number of parents working outside the home continues to grow, the need increases for workplace policies that support family functioning and promote the prevention of child maltreatment. Family-focused initiatives for the workplace include:
For all working parents, a supportive work environment can help ease the stress of the dual responsibilities of work and family. For some already vulnerable parents, a supportive work climate may prevent family dysfunction, breakdown, abuse, and neglect.
Working together, the various sectors of the community—health care providers, community-based organizations, social services agencies, schools, the faith community, employers, other community practitioners and concerned citizens—can help strengthen families, foster healthy child development, and reduce child maltreatment.
Most of us leave our home at least once each day. Whether it’s driving to the grocery store or going on your daily walk, it’s important to be aware of your surroundings. By using simple precautions, you can safely enjoy the time you spend outside of your home.
If You Are Attacked:
While these tips can be helpful, they do not guarantee your safety. Immediately contact the police if you detect any suspicious behavior.
Now, even India may be affected by the deadly Ebola virus. Scientists have warned that the virus could spread across the world from its West African hotbed within three weeks.
US researchers have calculated the odds of the virus spreading across the world using airline traffic data and Ebola spread patterns.
They estimate there is a 75 per cent chance Ebola will reach French shores by October 24; UK has 50 per cent chance by October 24, Belgium 40 per cent while Spain and Switzerland have lower risks of 14 per cent each, Mail online reported.
Over 3,400 people have died and 7,500 have been infected by the virus in West Africa, the epicenter of the epidemic.
Assuming there is an 80 per cent reduction in travel to the affected regions, the scientists predict France’s risk is still 25 per cent, and the UK’s is 15 per cent.
The study was published in the journal PLOS.
“This is not a deterministic list, it’s about probabilities – but those probabilities are growing for everyone,” the Mail quoted Professor Alessandro Vespignani of Northeastern University in Boston, who led the research, as saying.
“It’s just a matter of who gets lucky and who gets unlucky. Air traffic is the driver,” he added.
“If this thing continues to rage on in West Africa and indeed gets worse, as some people have predicted, then it’s only a matter of time before one of these cases ends up on a plane to Europe,” the Mail said quoting Dr Derek Gatherer, of Lancaster University, an expert in viruses who has been tracking the epidemic.
Nigeria, Senegal and the U.S. – where the first case was diagnosed on Tuesday – have all seen people carrying the haemorrhagic fever virus.
France is among the countries deemed most likely to be hit next.
Britain is most threatened by the virus, as Heathrow is one of the world’s biggest travel hubs, with frequent links to Nigeria.
British Airways and Emirates have suspended some flights but other airlines continue to fly to the region.
Ebola is transmitted via bodily fluids. The virus causes both internal and external bleeding, profuse vomiting and diarrhoea, all of which can contain high concentrations of the infectious virus.
People may not know they are infected since symptoms take between two and 21 days to emerge.
It is therefore feared an affected person could travel to India from Europe without knowing they had the disease and infect others.
Dr. Armida Fernandez started SNEHA as a hospital-based counselling centre that offered shelter and provided assistance to women facing violence. Soon this small initiative grew into an organisation that has since helped thousands of women stand up against injustice. The organisation works extensively in urban informal settlements to bring about change in women and children’s health. Here’s how they are doing this.
Ragini (name changed), a young newlywed, was burnt alive by some goons from her locality. They did it to “teach her a lesson” for not reciprocating and responding to their advances. Many people from the community witnessed the horrific incident, but not a single person dared help her or stand up to the goons, as every community member lived in fear of them.
Ragini died a painful death. The traumatized family did not know what to do and where to go for help. It was at this time of crisis that someone from the community directed them to SNEHA – Society for Nutrition, Education & Health Action. The team took charge of the case, and after three years of fighting a tough battle in court, the culprits were sent to jail for 14 years.
This is one of the more extreme and conspicuous consequences of gender-based violence, but thousands of women and girls are subjected to different forms of abuse every second of every day in our country. Most of these go unreported. According to the National Family Health Survey-III (NFHS-3, 2005-2006), 47 percent women in the country have faced some kind of violence and only 2 percent of these women have asked for institutional help.
It was the 1990s, and like so many other neonatologists in the country, Dr. Armida Fernandez and her team were spending countless hours in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) saving lives of underweight and premature infants, born to mothers from vulnerable communities. One patient that left a disturbing but lasting impression on Dr. Fernandez was a six-week old baby who had been raped. Dr. Fernandez treated the baby, but realised at that point that it was important to go beyond medical care, as she would be sending the baby to the same environment after treatment.
This led her to talk to mothers and intervene with their family members to ensure safety and well-being of these women and their children. More often than not, the doctors encountered women presenting physical injuries on account of violence in their homes. The oft-repeated stories spoke of financial and emotional deprivation and lack of support from families. She felt that the only way to make a lasting difference was by empowering women with necessary information and capabilities to build healthier families.
What started as a small initiative in 1999 to support women in crisis is now a big organisation that leads the movement on empowering women and communities to break the silence on gender-based violence.
“Women were often reluctant to talk about violence happening in their lives for two reasons: one, because the cultural norms and society prevented them from speaking out against abuse, and, two, because the need to survive, in the absence of any form of support, took precedence over getting help for the violence they were facing,” says Dr. Nayreen Daruwalla, Director of the Program on Prevention of Violence against Women and Children.
Today, the team that works on preventing and addressing gender-based violence has 70 employees, in an organisation that employs over 400 dedicated staff.
The organization provides counselling to women from all parts of the city. Through crisis intervention, SNEHA helps women identify the most appropriate course of action they can take to bring about a change in their lives.
The team also collaborates with the police, health and legal systems to sensitively respond to women and children facing violence who approach them for help.
They have been conducting training programmes on gender-based violence for women since 2007. The first phase of the programme is information on gender-based violence and steps women can take to get help in crisis. The important thing is to make women self-reliant and confident. Hence, the second phase taught them to do basic things like banking, post-office work, etc. to make them independent. By the end of this phase, the women had knowledge but needed the skills and confidence to implement what they had learnt in their daily lives. The last phase of the training taught them how to turn their knowledge into practice.
“We want to ensure that our training adds value to the lives of these women, so we provide tools and methodologies to help them bring about a change in their confidence and behaviour,” Dr. Daruwalla says.
SNEHA has developed and launched a crowd-sourced reporting system (called “Little Sister”) through community workers and smartphone technology, mapping domestic violence in real time to better identify offenders and offer necessary support and care to survivors. The system records, measures, prevents, educates, and responds to incidents of domestic violence in Dharavi. Additionally, survivors who have sought help previously from SNEHA receive an inconspicuous SMS asking if they need help. They are also encouraged to give SNEHA a missed call in a crisis situation, which gets registered in the system and automatically notifies the team who can rush to the woman’s aid.
“To ensure the woman’s safety, the SMSes sent are as discreet or as random as a zodiac update or a mobile recharge update, so that even if a family member sees it, he or she would not be able to figure out what was going on,” Dr. Daruwalla says.
SNEHA’s various initiatives have changed the lives of thousands of women in Mumbai and its environs. The counselling centre and community teams have handled more than 4000 cases of violence against women and children. 19 civil, domestic violence and criminal cases have been filed in court in the past year. Many such cases have been given due justice with the help of the organisation’s team and its dedication.
In 2013, they have trained 239 police officers and 1070 police cadets on the issues of gender, gender-based violence and laws relating to violence against women and children.
Another interesting initiative called Dharavi Friend’s Club is a meeting ground for men. Through a library, film screenings and meetings, an effort is being made to build an individual, and, progressively, a collective discourse on gender-related issues and other local issues in the community. “At SNEHA, we believe that if MEN join the conversations, CHANGE will come,” states the team.
It is through SNEHA’s consistent and concerted efforts that more women are empowered and self-confident to take action and support other women facing violence. An inspiring example: some women from Dharavi travelled all the way to Surat to intervene on behalf of a woman who was being severely abused by her husband and in-laws.
“The biggest challenge was that women were unwilling to acknowledge that violence was a problem. They were very reluctant to open up and would not share their issues with the counsellors,” Dr. Daruwalla says.
The women do not want to or are afraid to ask for help, and mostly suffer in silence. This creates an environment in which perpetrators feel like, and many times actually do, get away with committing acts of violence.
SNEHA is launching a door-to-door mentorship programme, which will be run by women from the community. These volunteers, many of whom are survivors of violence, will talk to each of their neighbours about a woman’s right to a life free from violence. Women will be encouraged to talk about and report violence to these volunteers who will act as their mentors. This programme will motivate more women to raise their voices, create safer spaces for women and ultimately change the culture of silence surrounding gender-based violence.
You can help SNEHA raise funds for this programme by starting your own campaign and involving your friends and family to contribute for the cause.
Social Awareness 